Wednesday, March 5, 2014

A Lenten Project

It's been a while..

The Lenten season started today. Lent is a beautiful time of remembering where you came from - from dust we were created and to dust we shall return. Being blessed with ashes is a stark reminder that life on earth is short indeed. How do you want to live it?

Technology consumes a lot of my day. For work, *most* of it is vital - but at home, it's a time killer and a way to zone. I'm sure I'd be sick to see how many hours of my life I've wasted away on facebook in the past year alone. As I write this, everyone else is upstairs sleeping. How did I spend my time with them today?

Was I being present? Or was I simply there?

Many times as I reflect on the day before going to bed, I think of all the things that *need* to be done, that *should* be done, that could have been done... I used to thank God for the blessings in my life daily. I think it's time to get back to that.

Today I'm thankful for:
*watching my children stomp on bubble wrap together and squeal with delight at the sound,
*sitting next to my husband at church, receiving ashes as a family of four, at the place where we met, and
*my neck ache and headache going away so I don't end up with a migraine.

Every year at the start of Lent, Kim shares a word with corresponding acronyms to get everyone in the Lenten spirit. This practice has been right up my alley since I started hearing them in 2002. Today's went with the word heart. E - evaluate. A - almsgiving. T - take time to pray. I already forget h and r. Oops. :)

"Evaluate" stuck with me. What are you using your time for? Is it purposeful? How are you serving God?

Yikes - I need to work on this - in all aspects. A dear work friend has pointed out that I get stuck in the details sometimes and that this deters me from accomplishing something, anything at times. It's true. That's the fault of this blog too. An intention to keep a record for my children and maybe a place to help other mothers along their journey gets thrown aside when I don't know how to write what on my mind. I think I need to have a greater trust in God that not everything I jump into will fail and that sometimes, moving full steam ahead is the only way to get things done. Let go and Let God - as we from the Oratory would say. <3

So to kick off Lent, I posted this to Facebook tonight:
"Today was a special day in our house: Ash Wednesday, Grace's halfway birthday to TWO, and Liam's 3rd anniversary of joining the church. We may not have it all together but together we have it all - faith and love build and keep our home. 

I struggle with being a good wife, a good mom, a good daughter, a good friend, and a good teacher. I struggle with feeling like I need to please everyone and like I'm not doing a good job with any of it. Reading peoples' perfect facebook lives and pinning things I'll never complete do not help my complex either. 

So for Lent, I'm giving up Facebook and adding real experiences to my life. I need to enjoy moments like Liam & Grace reading together in real time and not hiding behind a camera. I'm going to get their blog (for mom ) going again once they are in bed so they have even more memories to cherish when they get older - a record of our life together and my love for them. 

No matter your faith (or lack thereof), I encourage you to live productively for the next 40 days and see how much more life you experience when you live for you. I'm hoping that, for me, I'll see a change."

And so it starts yet again. Another new beginning. I love starting fresh. What's great, in my opinion, about being a Christian and a Catholic, is that no matter how many times I screw up, God welcomes me back. I'm forgiven and I can start again and continue on my journey. 

To my babies - I pray that you always find God's healing Love in your life. No matter what happens He is there to love you and take care of you. 

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